


Venom vs Everyone's Dignity

by gutterandthestars



Series: Trust Falls [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Bonding Over Awkward Past Life Experiences, Humor, I Love These Foolish Noodles, John Loves Rodney But God Is He Making It Painfully Awkward, Multi, Venom Also Has Some Life Advice, Venom Has No Shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:49:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29827980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gutterandthestars/pseuds/gutterandthestars
Summary: A small, humorous vignette from the (still in progress! Honest!) Venom vs Atlantis AU, set the following evening. In which Eddie and Venom are still on Atlantis, Rodney is still in the infirmary (probably bribing someone to bring him his laptop), and Sheppard and Eddie bond over some uncomfortably similar shared life experiences, hem hem.
Relationships: Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Series: Trust Falls [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1354792
Comments: 19
Kudos: 65





	Venom vs Everyone's Dignity

Sheppard finds them as they’re lounging on a balcony overlooking one of the inner-city inlets, above what seems to have been an Ancient park area. Eddie’s huddled over a notebook; Venom’s been bobbing over his shoulder making ‘helpful’ comments. The city’s military commander is in civvies and clutching beers. Eddie gives him a cheery wave.

“How’re you finding the city?” Sheppard asks them, as he saunters up to the railing.

“It’s honestly, you know, nice just to be around people who aren’t completely freaked out by the whole alien thing,” admits Eddie, leaning back on one hand to look up at their host. “I mean apart from Anne and Dan,” he corrects, conscientiously.

** Hey ** , says Venom, but without much bite. 

“You are here why?” asks Eddie, ignoring them.

“Not leaving my city or any of my people alone with a reporter,” says Sheppard, six-pack of lager hitting the deck with a clunk. He folds up beside them like a pack of cards, threading his legs through the railings and twisting to watch Eddie carefully. Venom stays silent and hovers.

“Even Ronon?” asks Eddie, hopefully. “He looks like he can, er, take care of himself.”

“Hate to break it to you, but he’s straight,” says Sheppard, grinning and passing Eddie a beer.

Eddie leers. “I don’t need a chance, I just need a view.” He takes a swig of his beer while Sheppard chuckles and tilts his head in acknowledgement of the point. “You’re not, though,” needles Eddie. “Straight, I mean.”

Sheppard’s face goes blank, then gives Eddie an  insincere  sneer and the once over. “Yeah, you’re not my type,” he says.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “That wasn’t a come on. Also, your Rodney McKay, PhD, PhD, might, I dunno, teleport me into the sun or something.”

Eddie watches carefully. Sheppard looks outraged, clenches his fists like he wants to take a swing at him, but Eddie’s been pushing people’s buttons for well over a decade in a professional capacity, and for many years before that as more of a lifestyle-slash-guiding-principle thing. He’s pretty sure he’s not actually going to get punched this time.

“That’s out of fucking line,” growls Sheppard. Eddie can admit to himself it was probably rude but, you know. Habits.

“McKay looks at you like you invented chocolate and tater tots, y’know?” he tells the scowling airforce Colonel beside them. “I don’t think you got anything to worry about.”

Venom winds further around to give their opinion. **Our senses are very attuned to biological signals of which you humans are not consciously aware, Colonel. Dr. McKay seems up for anything you might suggest.**

Sheppard chokes a little, then sags. He waves it off and says, “That’s not the problem.”

“So what is?” asks Eddie.

“You know, I don’t talk about this stuff to people. Not even people I’ve known longer than five minutes who aren’t professional gossips.”

“Eh. We’re not exactly, y’know, people,” says Eddie, with a lofty wave.

** Speak for yourself ** , sniffs Venom.

“It’s complicated,” replies Sheppard, taking a long swig.

** Eddie is also so dense with this stuff ** , observes Venom, cheerfully, as Eddie yelps, “Hey!” **Humans are so sad. So many hang-ups, always getting in their own way. McKay seems stressed. You should kiss him. It would stop him talking and he might relax.**

Sheppard coughs and looks ill. Or possibly that’s horror. Venom tilts their head, as if they’re weighing up their considered opinion. **He’d probably be more inclined to go along with your way of thinking, is what we’re saying. Kissing, touching, maybe some of that anal stimulation some humans seem to find so satisfying…**

Sheppard freezes halfway through gulping beer, bottle paused where it’s upended against his lips. His eyes are pale and wide and absolutely not looking at either of them, fixed on the horizon. Oh yeah, thinks Eddie in slightly numb recognition, that ’ s definitely horror.

** Works on Eddie ** , says Venom smugly.

Sheppard spits beer clean across the terrace.

===

“Hey, I’m just saying, I’m not judging,” Sheppard is saying, hands held high, damp patches of beer spreading across his t-shirt but looking like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. Eddie is wound tighter than he’s been all day. Venom is watching the two of them them like a particularly avid tennis fan with the good seats at Wimbledon. 

“Are you kidding?” Eddie’s aware he’s yelling, but can’t quite back off yet. “I was just outed as having kinky alien sex! I’ve got to be the only person on this goddamn planet who can say that!”

Sheppard shifts awkwardly. He recovers fast, but Eddie’s seen the involuntary side-eye.

Well, that’s interesting.

“No, really? Oh my god, with what? Uh, who?” Eddie corrects himself, as Venom narrows their pearly eyes.

Sheppard gives the impression of a man who, were he not sitting on a ledge with his feet dangling between some railings, would be shuffling them uncomfortably.

“Yeah, so when McKay said this wasn’t the first time I was wrong about someone we put up in the city?”

“Uh huh,” nods Eddie. 

“There was this priestess, only it turned out she was actually one of the aliens – you know, The Ancients - who built this city and a bunch of other stuff that would take way too long to get into. And she lied about that. McKay didn’t trust her, and you’ve met him, it’s not like he was _subtle_ about it. I just about tore him a new one, and… well technically she was hiding something, but it wasn’t anything _bad_. She just wasn’t supposed to talk about it.” 

Eddie knows a thing or two about secrets, so he doesn’t say anything. 

Sheppard seems to take his silence for judgement, since he says, “Look, she was really hot!” kinda defensively, and also, “I liked her!”

“And the sex?” Eddie asks. Venom is quiet but looks just as interested. Sheppard doesn’t meet their eyes.

“It was more this kind of glowy mind sharing thing. Tingly. Sorta amazing.”

“Huh,” says Eddie.

“You?” asks Sheppard, in a tentative voice that suggests to Eddie he’s a little afraid of the answer.

“Uh, pretty much what you’re thinking, I imagine,” sighs Eddie. 

“Ah.” 

They sit for a while, staring out towards the Golden Gate Bridge in silence.

“Our lives are ridiculous aren’t they?” offers Eddie.

“Oh, yeah.” 

** I’m not a native of this planet, so technically I too have kinky alien sex ** , says Venom, and Sheppard honks out a laugh and doubles over as Eddie puts his face back in his hands.


End file.
